Wonder Has Always Been Here

Aila’s days came and went, and Kuléo joined the research group at UM2’s new Institute for Alchemy Research. Winter in Montpellier was more wet than cold, really, which was a further, interesting weather change for the two of them.

Several members of Nakuléiu were working at IAR, and Aila got to take a tour of their new facilities. They were somewhat rudimentary as of yet, because a permanent home hadn’t been found for them; they were currently sharing space with a physics research group, which provided no end of “hilarity” for both groups. The prejudices expressed by the man on TV were not universal, but they ran deeper here where they ran.

Most of what had been done so far was basic studies, acquiring books (especially the rarer Hunéan books), teaching the human researchers Ka’aulele so that they could read those books and think more as their authors thought. A few small labs had been set up with some supplies. Not very much practical research was happening yet, and it was somewhat frustrating to the researchers; but they knew that good work was based upon good work, so everyone was trying to be patient.

Guest teachers came from other areas, and Dr. Halalo even visited once. He spoke openly about the kind of alchemy he practiced back in Paris, and a few Na’aulele twitched a little at it. Aila noted their reactions and made an effort to send him a discreet message to invite him to dinner at their apartment rather than meeting him at the university; such open friendliness would be as good as an admission of where she learned her alchemy. She wasn’t ready to confront that yet; as of yet, all the Na’aulele she had met in town believed that she had born as she was, and after the tumultuous events in Paris, she wasn’t in any hurry to throw away her ability to blend in.

Aila continued with her classes as well, now into dance with wings (a relatively new class at the university in which she was very popular as a demonstration), music theory, and epic storytelling. Over time it started to blend into some new whole for her, the meaning of which she was still grasping for; she thought back to the old times when people would travel and tell stories, accompanied by music and dance. There was a magic in that time that seemed to be missing in the modern world. That brought her mind back to her thoughts of months ago, wondering what magic could do for the troubles of the world; perhaps the two kinds of magic were related somehow. Aila was prone to much thought and daydream these days, and people often rightly accused her of being off in her own world.

She had just celebrated her birthday with the club, and was walking to find some lunch at the university cafeteria.

“Oh hi, Aila,” a young woman said to her as she waited in line. She was a classmate from Aila’s “wing dance” class. “I just noticed you were there.”

“Hi, Madeline,” Aila replied cheerfully after a pause to recall her name. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she said, seeming a bit preoccupied. She paused for a moment, then said suddenly, “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Sure! Company is good.”

“It really brings the class to life for you to demonstrate for us,” Madeline said to her as they pondered the eccentricities of fruit salads. “But don’t you know all of that stuff already? I mean, where would we have learned it if Na’aulele hadn’t taught it to us?”

“You might be surprised,” Aila said to her carefully. “Many Na’aulele have been born on Earth, and some who came here don’t really remember much because they were so young. And anyway, new things are being written all the time.”

Madeline giggled a little, still sounding nervous. “It’s exciting, isn’t it? I mean I find it all to be so beautiful.”

Aila smiled. “All of the dance stuff?”

“Oh, yes, that too. But the aurora, Hunéa, Na’aulele, all of it. I just... it’s so beautiful.”

Aila had a strange look on her face then, hearing some of her own words coming back to her years later, but Madeline misunderstood her expression.

“Oh... I’m sorry,” Madeline said. “It must sound a little strange... It’s like you have a fan-girl or something. Not that I’m that! Me, a fan? Nahh. Okay, I’m just going to go put my foot in my mouth now, okay?”

Aila made side to side cutting motions with her hands. “No, no, not at all! I think it’s nice. And I agree with you...” Aila paused, taking on one of her daydreamy looks. “I wish I could go to Hunéa,” she said almost to herself.

“You can’t?” Madeline seemed very surprised. “But... didn’t you come from there?”

“Many of us can’t go through the aurora from this side,” Aila said, covering for her wool-gathering. “It’s sad, but that’s just how it is. I want to say that I have a need to go home, but... I don’t really know where ’home’ is anymore, anyway. Maybe just wherever my boyfriend is,” she said with a little smile returning to her face.

“Oh, nice,” Madeline replied with a smile of her own.

They had paid for their food and were walking back to a table. Aila steered them to one that had chairs she could use comfortably.

“There are so many things about having wings that cause trouble in this world, huh?” Madeline asked, a hint of unease in her voice.

“It can be that way, yeah,” Aila replied. She had a dreamy look on her face again. “But it’s worth pretty much any price, if you ask me. The soaring through the sky and gliding down through the clouds in circles, the feeling of warmth as they fold around you at night. I can’t imagine being without my wings.”

Madeline had stopped eating her food and was staring at a point on the table. Either she had a serious quarrel with her bread, or she was pondering something deeply important. She set her fork down and looked up at Aila.

“I want them too,” she said simply, calmly. She just let it hang there for a minute, and then picked up her fork and started eating again.

In spite of earlier her recognition of her own words in Madeline’s, Aila was a little bit blindsided by this development. Aila didn’t say anything for a moment, so Madeline looked back up at her to see her reaction, but by that time Aila had recovered, and all Madeline saw was a kind smile.

“I know it’s probably weird,” Madeline continued after a moment. “But I feel that way too. All that,” she gestured with her fork, “that you said a minute ago. I think I always have. And seeing you here... being with you in class several times a week... you just have this fey feeling around you like, if you’re here with your wings, then anything is possible.”

“That’s... that’s so sweet,” Aila said. She was actually slightly at a loss for words at the woman’s sudden calm and eloquence.

“Really?” Madeline said, looking up again. “I was hoping you wouldn’t hate me, but I had to get it out. I hear you know some alchemy. That’s like magic, right? Oh, it sounds so silly... I can’t ask, even now.”

“You don’t have to,” Aila replied. “I do know some alchemy, and...” She paused and continued on in a much quieter voice. “I happen to have an answer for you.”

The look in Madeline’s eyes, like the Buddha had suddenly appeared in front of her and promised her peace, made Aila feel both happy and a little bit unsettled. Had she ever been like this?

Yes, yes she had.

She pulled a sheet out of a little notepad and scribbled something on it, then handed it over to Madeline with a sigh.

“I can’t promise you anything,” Aila said. “No, that’s not true. I can promise you a lot of pain, both the physical and emotional kinds, and some amazing, life-changing experiences. But if anyone can help you on your path... it’s these guys.”

Madeline put the piece of paper in her pocket.

“Thank you so much,” she said to Aila. “You’re like a fairy godmother.”

“Hah, I don’t know about that,” Aila replied with a laugh. “Well, time will tell. For now, let’s just stick to ’friend’. And over time, we might have a few stories to tell each other about growing and having wings!”

To Aila’s great surprise, Madeline wasn’t the only one. Another from her epic storytelling class had talked to her discreetly one day and said that he had always dreamed of swimming through the ocean in some other form.

“I just thought,” he mused, “If you can be here with your bird wings... it’s like an angel has appeared among us. What can’t be possible with something like that right in front of you, not going away even when you pinch yourself? And I think of these stories we’re hearing in class. I’ve always been so in love with the ocean, with dolphins, with swimming, with diving down... all of it.”

“That’s great,” Aila said a little bit awkwardly. She didn’t really have any way to help him find fins, and maybe gills, and she said as much to him.

He was surprised that she had taken his words that way, and laughed a little. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean that I wanted you to help me become a fish-man or something. You’re just... you know, an inspiration to me. That you and the others exist brings this feeling of a hope for magic to me.”

“I always wanted to be an astronaut,” a middle-aged woman said to her in her music class one day while they were working in pairs on a duet practice.

“An astronaut!” Aila said. “That would be so exciting... to fly even beyond the sky...”

“I know,” the woman said with a smile. “All these years I wanted to do it, but I just never felt like it was something in my reach. I’d want to work toward it, but it always seemed like I would never be able to get in good enough shape, or I could never find anyone who would take me on a mission, or... I don’t know. But I see you flying in to class some days, and I think, I have to try. I have to try!” She stopped and balanced her chin on her hand, looking upward and seeming to see something Aila couldn’t. “What it would be like to soar above the sky and see the stars from out there...”

Over the next several days, Aila was even deeper in thought than had become usual for her in recent times. It was strange, to her, to feel the spiral turning its way around. Others had helped her, and now, in turn, it was her time to help others. Instead of being the little girl who desperately needed wings, staring up at the Ka’aulele woman and seeing only herself, she was now a young woman and had others who desperately needed wings, literally and otherwise, staring up at her; and in those people she saw only herself.

Who or what was she looking up at, now? Her bird sabbatical, her unplanned trip to the Dreamlands and meeting Jay, fellow students being drawn in by some kind of fey magic around her, and her playing fairy godmother to Madeline... Or, given how much pain she had been through to get where she was, perhaps simply playing god. Irresponsibly.

She put down the paper she had theoretically been reading for class that day and worked on her breakfast some more. The windows were open to let the increasingly pleasant breeze inside, and she could hear the donk-donk of the Ka’aulele wind-prism hanging inside one. Pieces of wood hung from its top circular piece by way of clear strings, and above the whole thing hung a prism that split the morning light into rainbows across the room.

“Eating hardy, I see?” Kuléo asked as he came into the room. Aila just grunted at him and kept working at her food. “That’s my girl!” he said in a purposefully annoying, chipper voice. He had to duck back as she swung a cinnamon roll at his head.

“I just...” She started. “Everything we’ve heard about Na’aulele says that they became bird-people at some point in the past as a way to transcend boundaries, to revel in the wonder and mystery of the world. Dr. Halalo thinks that it’s their responsibility to bring that same thing to others who need it. And I’ve had a number of people reveling in the wonder and mystery of me.”

“I know I do,” Kuléo said. Aila smiled and blew a kiss at him.

“I just can’t help but wonder,” she continued, “if that’s our mission now. To bring wonder, mystery, and transformation to our world. Dr. Halalo does it through giving and taking bird wings; but not everyone wants them. It seems like every person has a dream or desire that they’ve given up on, though. And I find myself wishing to grant those wishes.”

“So your own wish,” Kuléo replied as he sat down across from her, “is to grant wishes. Sounds like a fairy godmother to me!” Aila groaned at him.

“Enough with the fairy godmother talk,” she said semi-jokingly. “I don’t know what I want to do. Give everyone a piece of the grace I’ve been given, maybe. Grant their wishes, sure. Change the world, yeah. I just wish I knew where to go from here with it.”

“Well, as Jay said to you, it’ll come to you when it comes to you.”

“I guess so.”

“In the meantime, I have something else for you,” he said nervously. “I’ve been saving this for–”

But he was interrupted as Aila jumped up from her chair. “Mon Dieu! I’m going to be late for class!”

She give him a quick kiss on the head, grabbed her bag, and ran out the door.

Kuléo stared balefully at the table. “I’m starting to get superstitious,” he complained to the wind-prism, and sighed. “I’ll give it a bit longer.”

It just donk-donked at him.

It was nearing the middle of summer, and everything felt too hot to them both. Kuléo was working in the expanding alchemy labs, and Aila’s classes were nearly wrapped up.

“I’ve got a drum circle with my music class,” Aila said to Kuléo. She was fanning him slowly with her wings, and he was doing the same for her. The air was particularly warm and still, and even their wing motions and a box fan couldn’t make it completely pleasant.

“Oh no, you’re going to overheat!”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Aila reassured him as she stood up and got her things ready. “It’s taking place inside, in a building with good, working air conditioning.”

“That’s something, I guess. Have a good time!”

“I will, and don’t get too overheated here!”

She was surprised to find, when she arrived, that the setting was not possessed of the bright lighting and more or less educational atmosphere that one might expect of a class. The room she had come to looked more like a club, with low lighting and risers off to the sides, forming a de facto dance floor. One of the class assistants greeted her as she walked through the door.

“There are a lot of drums over there,” he said, gesturing off to the side. “Just pick something that looks interesting to you and find a place to sit.”

Like so many classes at UM3, this particular music class was quite large. It was one reason they had been paired off for practice earlier. But tonight it appeared that the whole class was going to participate in the one exercise.

“We thought it might be a nice way to end the term,” the assistant said from the middle of the room once everyone had been seated with a drum, “to have a tribal-style drum circle. The way this works is that I and my fellow assistants will begin a drum pattern. You’ll wait a few bars to get the feel for it, and then come in as you feel ready for it.”

“There’s no set music for this,” another assistant said, tapping her heart, “except in here. Once we get started, if you feel inspired, you can try adding syncopations and other beats. If the group follows, you’ve led. If it doesn’t, perhaps you’ve added flavor.”

“And if the whim takes you,” the first one said again, “there’s space out here to dance. Sometimes the interaction between dancers and drummers becomes a dialogue of its own that’s very interesting.”

“You’ll probably lose track of time,” the second said. “When there are ten minutes left to class, I’ll raise this flag to give you a cue to start coming back to Earth.” A few people laughed. “And when five minutes are left, we’ll stop for a quick discussion. Everyone ready?”

A few cheers went up, and the two instructors started drumming a rhythm that immediately had everyone moving some body part or other in time. Other students began to join in, and then Aila. After only a few moments, she started in with her own improvisations. Her mind started to wander, and her improvisations began to take on the flavor of her thoughts. Thoughts of her cousins in the countryside brought a wildness to her beats; thoughts of Dr. Halalo and temples of change brought a smooth contemplativeness to them, and so on.

At one point she found herself crying out like a hyena, and it brought her back to herself enough to realize that she’d done it in response to someone else a moment before. Something had woken in her blood, something that had been dormant for years, perhaps ever since the disastrous club incident in Paris. Aila felt compelled to go down and dance with the one or two other students, and all of her time spent in the winged dance class came into use. Others cheered when she took up a dance inspired by the ones she’d seen Képaki and Néhala doing so long ago on that dance floor.

When the flag went up, Aila groaned to herself. There was no way she would be able to dispel the energy she’d built up, that the whole room had built up in the time they’d been there. It was as if she had soaked it all up, and it was powering some strange, fey, animal dynamo inside her, one that had gained so much momentum that she wasn’t sure how to let it out, even with what techniques she knew from her magic studies.

Somehow, Aila kept her cool as the drumming came to an end outside, even as it kept going within her. She made it through the discussion for five minutes, and the saying of goodbyes to friends in the class. She even made it to a take-off point nearby. She had been sweating madly inside the air conditioned room, and strangely, it seemed less warm outside now. There was a bit of a breeze that was turning her into a giant evaporative cooler.

Once Aila was in the air, she could take it no longer. She reached deep within her to that place of primal animality, and let out the loudest, most powerful screeching bird cry she could draw out. She flew over the city in mad arcs, trying to let go of what was built up inside, calling out over and over. The birds answered her, circling in flocks. She felt as though if she raised her hands, they would be crackling with fey energy that she could send forth; trees would turn to giant mushrooms, and rabbits would pop from their lairs and cry out, “Mon dieu! Has she come?”